Haunting moments
by Lolly6
Summary: Giles receives a letter from a person who had long thought was lost in his past.....it leads him to take a walk down memory lane


Giles reread the letter again which had arrived for him that morning, he opened the bottle of scotch which sat next to him on the table, he still couldn't believe that she had written to him after all this time after everything which had passed between them. Looking at the letter he could make out her beautiful handwriting curvaceous and readable, her letter was straight to the point and yet distant at the same time, just like her when he had first met her, a blunt mystery.  
  
My Dear Rupert,  
How long it has been since we saw each other, or at least talked? By my guessing it has been about thirteen years, I hope that you are keeping well and that you have found the life, which you so desperately strived but were unable to find at my side.  
I here from friends that you have become the watcher of the current slayer, and that she is a bit of rebel much like you were in your youth, I hope she is, a challenge is what you needed to complete you and maybe you will be able to help her from making the same mistakes which we did.  
  
I think about you often as I lie in our bed, even after all these years that is what I still call it despite your noticed absence, time fades though, but not memories, we had a lot of happy times in this house, that's the main reason that I've refused to leave it despite much prompting from my darling Fiona, she gets more and more like you each day, and misses you slightly less. Which is good as it is not good for a girl her age to been mournful for the loss of a person who she only knew for a few precious years.  
  
It will be her eighteenth birthday in a months time, I can hardly believe my baby's all grown up and I'll soon be considered an old maid, and will earn the name granny (although hopefully not for a few years yet!) She does have on guy who seems to have been pretty constant in her life and I wouldn't be surprised to see him kept in that position, his name is Marc and he's a sweet boy very caring.  
  
Fiona was accepted into Oxford last week she wants to study History and Ancient Anthropology, hopes to be something great with life, you know in the way which children do.  
  
Looking at her sometimes makes me wonder how things would have been different if we had met when we were older, would our love have survived, I still love you, you know Rupert, I always will the memories I have of you, of us they haunt me, they are my one joy.  
  
I know that your knew life is probably filled with the adventures you desired and people who care about you and who you care about but I hope that at some short spare moments which you find in your busy life that you think of me and our beautiful daughter remembering how you loved us once and how we were a family.  
  
If you don't have the time to reply to this message I'll understand but I just wanted to give you a small reminder that there are people who love you out in the world and if you or any of you closest circle should ever need any help that we are here for you.  
  
All my love  
  
Rebecca Giles.  
  
How could she ask if he though of her? He thought of her every single moment he was conscious, she was his everything. Had been ever since they had met at the age of twenty. They had both met at Eton she had been a studious serious student with a slight wild side which only came into effect when surrounded by her closest circle, he had been besotted with her, doing anything he could to get close to her, she had been the singer in a band called Ember he had been to several of their gigs and had been shocked when she had personally approached him having learned of his talent and asked him if he would consider becoming a second singer in the band, he'd had an audition and it had been universally accepted by the band that their voices had matched and that they sounded amazing together.  
  
It hadn't taken that long after they had gotten to know each other for them to become lovers, they shared love not lust and it was beautiful.  
  
Everything had been fine for a while there concerts were electric, their relationship firm and they both worked hard, Giles now having a reason to do so, But everything had begun to fall apart when Rebecca had found herself to be pregnant.  
  
They had both graduated with honours from the university and had a bought a old country house in the middle of the Yorkshire dales, they didn't have much of an income except for the money which they got from their gigs and the articles which Becca wrote for different newspapers and magazines.  
  
Giles had asked her to marry him when he found out that she was pregnant and they had gone and got married the next day in a registry office with a couple of friends present and also Becca's mother, it had been a great day, they hadn't had a honeymoon, having no money spare to afford one, all there money had gone on fixing up a nursery for the coming baby.  
  
Giles had gone to visit his father, in London to ask for some money to provide for his baby, his father had not been pleased with the marriage or the coming of a grand child, his father dislike of the situation had only caused him to be more persistent that it would work that he would be able to do something which his father had not, to keep his family as a whole, not leave his wife or children but for them to be happy. His father had finally relented and given him some of the money, which had been saved up, as his inheritance. It wasn't much but it was a lot more then they would have had.  
  
On the train back up home that day he started talking to a man who was sitting in the same compartment as him, a man who he would later blame for the destruction of his life and his family and who would still occasionally pop into his life in order to taunt him or remind him of what he had lost, that man was Ethan Rayne.  
  
Back then Giles had been not naïve but not as worldly as he was now, he had only just begun to be interested in the crafts and was impressed with the other mans knowledge in the area, finding that he lived not far away from where Giles' home was they agreed to meet up at some point in order for Ethan to offer Giles some help or direction in his magical abilities.  
  
When Giles had returned home that night he had found his home to be empty, and a note on the pillow from Becca saying that during the course of the day she had gone into labour and had been taken to the hospital.  
  
He had rushed out of the house and jumped into his old battered car driving at full speed not stopping until he reached Old mill hospital and was at Becca's bedside.  
  
She had been asleep when he had got there, and he had sat in the chair next to her bed stroking her face and just watching her as she slept, eventually a nurse had approached him and asked him what his relationship with Becca was, when he had explained that he was her husband the nurse's entire attitude had changed and she had offered to take him to see his baby, an offer which he had been quick to accept, she had led him down a corridor to room with a big window looking in and about twenty babies lying in cots staring out at him, he had stood there looking at them all trying to guess which one was his, which one was his baby was, watching the nurse as she made her way through the rabble stopping at one cot, in the second row and picking up a pink bundle before bringing it out to him.  
  
He had taken the baby into his arms looking down at her and had found her to be staring back up at him smiling Becca's beautiful smile, it was love at first sight he had a feeling deep down in his gut that this baby was going to be the best thing which he would do with his life, she and any siblings which came along were going to be his greatest achievement in life, if she was all he had to show for his life then he would be satisfied.  
  
He had carried the precious cargo back to Becca's room and laid their darling down on her pillow so that she would be the first thing which she saw when she awoke.  
  
They had not really discussed names having decided that they would know what to call their child when they held them in their arms.  
  
Only one name had sprung to his mind when he had seen his princess and that was Fiona, a mythical princess who was said to be so beautiful that when people gazed upon her time had stopped in order for them to absorb her beauty into their souls.  
  
Yes his baby was a Fiona alright, Fiona Giles, that had a nice ring to it, he knew that Becca would probably want to give her a second name just in case when she was older she decided she didn't like her first name, that way she would have a second name which she could take.  
  
It was about half an hour later when Becca began to stir and noticing, the small pink bundle on her pillow she had sat up and gathered her into her arms for the first time a tear shinning in her eyes as she beheld her daughter, it was then that Giles had leant forward and kissed her making her aware of his presence something of which she had been oblivious of in comparison to the awe which consumed her in the presence of her daughter.  
  
She had turned and smiled at him a stand of her long silky red hair tickling against the baby's cheek.  
  
He had asked her how she was and apologized for missing the birth and told her of meeting Ethan on the train a matter in which she had feigned some interest, she was not into the whole magic scene. It was then that they had gone on to discuss names and Giles had told her of his idea of Fiona, a name that Becca had immediately taken a liking to and so it was decided.  
  
They had then gone on to choose the name Willow for a second name, Becca claiming that it had been the name of her favourite character in a book she had once read and Giles liking the name had instantly agreed. He was not to know how that name was going to come to haunt him in the coming years when he thought that he had left his family behind him.  
  
And the next day it had been decided that it was time to take Fiona Willow Giles home for the first time.  
  
Giles was interrupted from his trip down memory lane by the phone ringing, picking up the receiver on the fifth ring and answering in a slur he found it only to be Anya asking him if he wanted her to look up the magic shop, he quickly agreed wanting to be rid of the interference which the ex demon had created. Re-placing the receiver and pouring himself another glass of scotch before returning to his thoughts.  
  
This time he skipped ahead several months to a time several months later when Fiona had been nearly a year old, that was when the arguments had first started, about the magic's, Becca had thought them to be a dangerous pass time to meddle in especially since he now had the added responsibility of a family, he had not been able to see the sense which she was making however and had ignored her reasoning finding himself getting deeper and deeper into the practices which Ethan and the others were participating in and finding himself spending less and less time at home.  
  
It had come to a climax point five years later, he had been away for about three months, he had come home at the dead of night drunk, Becca had been up waiting for him, he had called from the train station to say that he would be on his way, he had known there was something wrong when he had entered the house she had been dressed in a long emerald green dress sitting with her legs tucked under her on the settee with her lap top on her lap typing some article or other, when she had heard the door opening, she had got up and put the computer down on table in front of her, she had risen from her seat and walked towards him, where he stood in the hallway, she had stood in front of him and asked him how he was, she had then asked him if he knew what the date was, he hadn't known he had spent the last couple of months drunk and out of his mind with the residue of the magic's he had practiced, so he had been unprepared to answer even that simplest of questions.  
  
Her hair had been tied back with chopsticks holding it in place, but leaving little strands of hair here and there hanging loosely down moulding themselves to the shape of her face and emphasising her beauty.  
  
She stood lips thinned her anger evident in her eyes and the fire light from the lounge emanating off her, she had told him there and then that the date was May 10th and that the day before had been Fiona's birthday, and that she had cried for the entire day not knowing why her daddy didn't love her enough to remember her Birthday or even to send her a card, or phone her.  
  
Becca told him that she could not love him any more, after seeing the pain, which he had caused their daughter, it was impossible for her to look at him with out seeing her daughters tears and pain, it was in that moment he had realised how far he had sunk into the magic's and what he had become, he had begged her for forgiveness promising that he would make it better, that everything would be fine.  
  
But she had stood there holding the door open for him, he had leant in to kiss her on the cheek as he left and she had hugged him, he had understood her reasons for not letting him stay, what he done to her, to their family in that brief period was not something which would be easily forgiven and he had vowed to himself then and there that he would devoted the rest of his life to making amend to his wrongs, that he would try somehow to earn Becca and Fiona's forgiveness, and hope that one day they would discern her worthy to be readmitted into their lives.  
  
It was this vow which had led him to journeying to London finding himself outside his father's house and training to become a watcher, he had worked hard and had quickly become a respected member of the council. He had trained for eleven years before he was send to America to become a watcher to the present slayer as her previous slayer had been killed in action.  
  
He had tried one last time to see his family before he left but had not been able to get in contact with them, they had not moved but it seemed that they had taken a holiday during this time period to Australia to visit some of Becca's relatives.  
  
And so he was forced to leave his homeland without giving any parting words to his wife or daughter. It had been a sad time for him, he had finally felt as if he was making something of his life and now he was unable to be with his family as he was assigned so far away from them.  
  
He received the occasional card from Becca and photos of Fiona she was the spitting image of her mother with her long red hair and beautiful features, the only one of his own which he could discern on her was her eyes they had the same colour and shape of eyes.  
  
Meeting his slayer.......... Buffy, had been an experience that was the only word which he could think to describe it as but it had been nothing in comparison to his meeting with her friend Willow, Willow was had looked some much like his own daughter and who had shared her name, Willow who's image haunted him, and who sometime still when he caught sight of her from the corner of his eye nearly mistook her for his baby or even Becca, he knew was a fools hope though.  
  
He had not hear a word from either of them since he had arrived in Sunny Dale apart from this letter which he know held in his hands, he had thought that they had moved on with their lives, that they would have forgotten him, but he found some shallow comfort in Becca's words, they allowed hope to grow in him and wondered whether he dared to act upon this emotion, he wanted so much to be a part of their lives for them to be a part of his life.  
  
But he couldn't leave here, he was needed to fight the good fight and so forth, and this was a time where Buffy needed him more then ever, her mother had died, she was alone to support her sister and all the while a hell god was plotting to steal and murder Dawn in a vain effort to return to her home.  
  
He couldn't leave her now, there was too much going on here, but if he didn't go now would he still be welcome in his home or would his family have finally found a way to move on without him? 


End file.
